


Please Fix My Heart

by justabigirl



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: 3x19 hope, M/M, One Shot, i don’t know how to tag yet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-18
Updated: 2019-04-18
Packaged: 2020-01-15 23:05:31
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,043
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18508909
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/justabigirl/pseuds/justabigirl
Summary: With the promo for 3x19 I wanted to write a one shot. Brother Zachariah to the rescue.





	Please Fix My Heart

**Author's Note:**

> This is what I hope 3x19 goes like or something close to it. Thank you everyone for reading it.

3 days. 12 hours. 36 minutes. That is how long it’s been since Alexander Lightwood broke Magnus Bane’s heart. To say that both were hurting badly would be an understatement. Magnus is currently living with Maryse, since he had nowhere else to go. His home was always Alexander so without Alexander he’s homeless no matter where he’s at. Alec has thrown himself into work. Working over 12 hours at a time trying to forget the pain he caused the only great love. Alec did it for Magnus’s mental health and so Magnus could get back his one great love, his magic but what Alec didn’t know was that he was Magnus’s one great love. Magnus got his magic back the next night after the break up but he’s been so depressed without his Alexander that he hasn’t even used a spark. 

“Magnus I wish I could make the pain go away,” Maryse says as she is bringing Magnus a glass of wine. It may only be noon but she knows Magnus wants to numb the pain anyway possible. She doesn’t even know his magic is back yet. 

“Nothing will make this pain go away.” Magnus replies with a voice that broke Maryse’s heart. 

“It just doesn’t make sense. I have never seen my son so in love. I know I had my doubts about you guys before but what you guys have - I’m sorry - had, was beautiful,” Maryse says trying to figure it all out. 

“It’s simple. He never loved me like I loved him. He was with me out of pity and what hurts the most is that I believed him when he said he loved me with or without magic.” By now Magnus has tears in his eyes again. He feels like all he’s done that the past few days is cry but he can’t help it. Alec was it for him. He doesn’t care how long he lives his heart would always belong to Alexander Gideon Lightwood even if Alec didn’t want him. 

“Magnus I hope you know that you’re still family even if you aren’t dating my son. I still consider you one of my own. I will do whatever it takes to help you.” Maryse says while reaching for a hug. 

“Thank you, Maryse. It’s nice to have a mother figure again.” Magnus says accepting the hug. 

Magnus and Maryse end the hug pretty fast but the gesture itself makes Magnus a little less alone but as he is hugging Maryse he can’t help remember all the times he and Alec hugged. Especially after his break down. He felt so broken but his Alec was there to catch him when he fell and now he has fallen to his lowest point and the one person he needs doesn’t want to be there for him. He always knew he was too much. 

“Hey Maryse, I just want to say thank you for letting me crash here. I’ll find something more permanent soon.” Magnus states. 

“Nonsense. Please stay as long as you want.” Maryse rebuts. 

“Well I’m going to go get some fresh air. I’ll be back soon. Thank you again.” Magnus has grabbed his phone and was on his way out when he hears Maryse say “please be safe. Call if you need anything.” Magnus nods his head and heads out. 

Magnus calls someone and they pick up. 

“Hey it’s me. Please meet me. I’ll send you where. I need to ask a favor.” Magnus knows what he’s about to ask is going to be painful but if it cures his broken heart he’ll do it. 

“Okay. See you soon.” The mystery voice says. 

Magnus hangs up and starts walking to his destination. 

MEANWHILE AT THE INSTITUTE

“Alec you need to stop. You haven’t slept in days. Please put that down and go get rest” Izzy begs her brother to put the files he’s holding because she is genuinely worried for his mental health. 

“I can’t stop. When I stop I think. When I think I cry. When I cry I want to hold Magnus in my arms. But I can’t because magic is the most important thing to him. So no Izzy I can’t stop and sleep because right now dreaming hurts more than real life.” Alec says with a broken voice. 

Shadowhunters only love once. Alec’s one love was Magnus. No matter what people thought about his decision to break up it wasn’t short of anything less than love. He loves Magnus heart and soul and if breaking up meant Magnus was happy he would do it all over again. Magnus was his world no matter if they were together or not. 

“You need to tell Magnus why you did it. I know he has to be hurting too.” Jace speaks up as he heard the conversation from the door. 

“I can’t. I wish I could but I can’t. It’s too painful. Eventually he’ll move on anyway, right? Better now than later I guess.” by now Alec has soft tears coming from his eyes but no one says anything because they know if they do Alec will put his walls up higher than ever before.

Izzy looks at Jace as soon as Alec starts talking. Izzy knows why Alec did it and Jace can feel that the love was still as strong as ever. They needed to do something because Magnus has become family to them and seeing family breakdown hurts. 

“Can I please be left alone?” Alec voice cracks and Jace and Izzy don’t even fight him. They know their brother needs some time alone. They both go to hug him and walk out of Alec’s office closing the door behind them. 

As soon as Izzy leaves the room a fire message cole to her. It reads: “Brother Zachariah is meeting with Mr. Bane. But you didn’t hear it from me”. Izzy suddenly shows Jace the message and both know it can’t be good. They have to tell Alec. 

They go back to open the door and sees the most heartbreaking sight. Their brother is sitting in his chair slumped down trying to keep himself from crying to loud. 

“I asked you guys to leave.” Alec chokes out. 

“I know but it’s about Magnus.” Jace quickly says. 

Even though they’re no longer together he will always help his love. He knows it can’t be good so he jumps up immediately and says “Let’s go.”

Izzy, Jace and Alec and run out of the office and Izzy passes the message to Alec. They immediately start the tracking rune and hope whatever is going on they get there in time. 

WITH MAGNUS AND BROTHER ZACHARIAH 

Underhill was out on a stroll when he sees Magnus walking very slowly. He can tell that the man is heartbroken. He doesn’t know why but he doe know that it can’t be good. Underhill sees brother Zachariah suddenly appear and even though he can’t he what they’re saying Mangus’s body language shows that he is begging for something. Pulling out his stele he quickly writes a message to Izzy. He code Izzy because he doesn’t know if Alec is the cause and if Magnus would want him to know. Also he knows Izzy will tell her brother if she feels it’s bad enough. Underhill waits in the trees while he pray Izzy gets here in time. Finally when shouting starts he can hear the conversation. 

“Please! I can’t take it anymore. The pain is too much.” Magnus says pleading to Jem. 

“Why would I get rid of something so beautiful?” Jem counters the man. 

“I need you to get rid of my memories of Alec. I can’t eat. I can’t sleep. I can’t do anything because all I see and hear is Alexander. It’s too much.” Magnus is officially crying now. 

Seeing how broken his long time friend is hurts. He knows that he shouldn’t show emotions but right now he would do anything to hug the broken man in front of him. 

“If I do this there’s no going back. You can’t get the memories back. Once they’re gone they’re gone. You won’t be able to feel his love anymore. Your heart will be paralyzed when it comes to him. You won’t even remember his name.” Jem explains. 

“What love? If he truly loved me he would have not broken up with me when I was at my lowest.” Magnus claps back. “I’m sure. I’ll never ask for anything again. Please!”

Jem has seen his friend and Alexander Lightwood for the past few months and he knows their love is real. There’s no way it couldn’t be. He knows there has to be an explanation for all of this. As he was about to ask Magnus to explain what happened he sees three people running in the distance towards them. He knows it’s Alexander and his siblings. He soon here’s Alec call out. 

“Wait stop!” Alec yells. 

“Please Jem. I can’t take it. Please.” Magnus pleads. 

By now Alec has caught up and is standing behind Magnus. Izzy and Jace stayed back because they knew there brother and his ex-boyfriend need to talk this out and they don’t need an audience. 

“I’m sorry, Magnus, but until I know the whole story I won’t erase your memories.” Jem states. 

Magnus can feel Alec’s heartbroken face staring at the back of his neck. 

“Erase your memories. I really meant so little to you?” Alec asks, aiming his question at Magnus. 

Magnus quickly turns around and both realize the other has tears softly falling. 

“Don’t you get it? I can’t live like this, Alec. You are the only relationship that I have felt like myself in and then suddenly it was nothing to you. My heart can’t take it anymore.” Magnus chokes out. 

“It wasn’t nothing Magnus, it was everything. You’re the one who said I didn’t make you happy, so I thought taking myself out of the equation would be better.” Alec states. 

Alec knew that he couldn’t tell Magnus about his deal with Asmodeus so he knew he still had to tell half - truths. Too bad Magnus has finally had enough so lying was becoming a lot harder. 

“Stop lying! You aren’t that selfish! Why break my heart when my soul has already been crushed?” Magnus yells. 

“You think I’m being selfish? I did it for you! I broke my heart so you could have yours back!” Alec yells back. 

Jem still has no expression but in his mind he’s happy to see the pair finally let it all out. 

“That makes no sense! My heart belongs to you so when you left your mom’s store the other day you took my heart with you.” Magnus has now gone quiet because he feels too exposed right now. 

Magnus looks anywhere but Alec’s eyes because he can’t bare to look into the man’s eyes who broke his heart. 

Alec is quiet for around five minutes. No sounds. Just the wind. Magnus just is staring at his hands until he hears the one sentence he never thought he would ever hear in his whole life. 

“I was going to propose.” Alec confesses. He talks so low that if Magnus wasn’t waiting and listening for even a mumble he would of missed it. 

Magnus snapped his head up. 

“What?” Magnus asks with a soft sob coming out. 

“The night you broke down in my arms. That dinner was for me to propose and then when you broke down I realized maybe it wasn’t the right time” Alec says. 

“So the day before you broke my heart you were going to save my life?” Magnus asks gently. 

“Save your life? What do you mean? I ruined your life. You don’t have magic because of me. You don’t have a soul because of me. You don’t feel whole because of me. You’re not happy because of me!” Alec starts raising his voice again. 

“I told you, I was drunk. You are, I’m sorry, were the reason I was still going.” Magnus mumbles out. 

“But that doesn’t make -“ Alec starts his nervous rambling but Magnus cuts him off by doing something that Alec hasn’t expect. 

Magnus grabs Alec’s cheek gently and places a peck on his lips. Nothing too crazy just a sign to say thank you. Thank you for the time we had. Magnus pulls away. 

“I’m sorry this didn’t work out. It’s not that I don’t want to remember you. It’s that it’s too painful. You’re the one who made me feel the most me in my whole life. You not being beside me hurts too much to think about. To think about how I ruined the only good thing I had.” Magnus says with one breath. 

Again it going to silence. Alec doesn’t know what to say. He knows he can’t tell Magnus about the deal, but he also knows that if Magnus gets his memories of him erased it’s going to end him. He can’t get his own memories erased so he has to deal with the pain for the rest of his life. Alec was about to speak up when he Magnus starts talking again. 

“I would have said yes.” Magnus confesses confidently. 

“What?” Alec furrows his brow. 

“I would have said yes. I know I always talked about how no one has ever asked me to get married and I feel okay about it but with you it was different. I want to say in front of everyone that ‘I do’.” A single tear drops down Magnus’s cheek and Alec brushes it off. 

“Magnus I would have been the happiest man alive,” Alec says smiling the happiest broken smile he could do. 

“Why did you do it? If you were going to propose why would you break up with me? I know you say it’s because my spark is gone but you said the day I woke up from my coma that there was a spark in me you loved. It doesn’t add up.” Magnus says heartbroken. 

“May I interject?” Brother Zachariah speaks up that causes both Magnus and Alec jump forgetting anyone was there. 

“Magnus I know you got your magic back. Have you sat back and thought just how you got it back?” Jem speaks up. 

“No. Why?” Magnus questions the silent brother. 

“Think about it.” Jem insists. 

Magnus looks up at Alec who won’t look him in the eye. He notices that Alec doesn’t seem surprised at the fact he has his own magic back. He seems sad, scared, happy even, but not surprised. Magnus wonders why. Why would Alec not seem surprised. Does this mean Alec knew? But Asmodeus had his magic so how could Alec even know that I would get it back. That’s when it all clicked. 

“It was you.” Magnus speaks after a good ten minutes. “You went to my dad to get my magic back. That’s why you’re not surprised.” 

Alec just nods his head yes but still not saying anything. 

“But how… Oh Alexander no. Please tell me you didn’t.” Magnus pleads to the man in front of him. 

Alec now looks down guiltily. Magnus knew everything now and Alec couldn’t bare to look at him but he knew he has to talk. 

“I did it carefully. I saw how miserable you were without your magic so I knew I had to do something. Asmodeus said that he would only give you magic back on one condition.” Alec speaks softly. 

“You had to break up with me.” Magnus says having already figured it out. “But why? Why break your heart for me?” 

“Magnus whether we’re together or not you have my heart and you’re my world. Magic is the most important thing to you so I thought I was doing you a favor.”

“Alexander,” Magnus starts before he grabs Alec’s cheek to make sure he’s looking in his eyes. “Why didn’t you tell me? I know my father would have told you that you couldn’t but why did you listen?” 

“I couldn’t bear to be the reason it all backfires. You deserve a soul.” Alec says now getting glossy eyes. 

Magnus sees Alec tear up and he starts tearing up. 

“My soul means nothing without my heart.” Magnus says lovingly. 

After that sentence was said it was now all out in the open. Magnus places his forehead on Alec wondering where he got so lucky to find someone so loving and selfless. Alec wonders why he ever thought that he could recover from losing this man. Magnus breaks the silence with the sentence that Alec wanted to be the one to say. 

“Will you marry me, Alexander?” Magnus asks quietly. 

“I would love too but I can’t be the reason you lose your magic again. Asmodeus said-“ Alec is cut off by a kiss. 

The kiss turns into something more, but just for a second. Magnus then pulls away. 

“I don’t care what my father said. I don’t care if I lose my magic again. You were wrong - magic isn’t the most important thing to me. You are, Alexander.” Magnus breathlessly says. 

“You mean that?” Alec asks and a tear runs down his cheek. 

“Of course I do.” Magnus replies back. “ So what do you say? Would you like to be Mr. Bane?”

“No.” Alec replies with a straight face and before Magnus can reply back Alec continues. “ I want to be Mr. Lightwood-Bane.”

Magnus smiles the brightest he ever has a nods his head and says, “Mr. Lightwood-Bane it is”

Alec leans into a kiss with his now fiancé. The kiss is sign to both that they will fight to the end of the earth for there love. Alec knows Asmodeus isn’t going to stop but he will help Magnus defeat him because he and Magnus deserve there happily ever after. Magnus and Alec are so caught in the kiss that they don’t see brother Zachariah’s huge smile or hear the cheering from Jace and Izzy. 

When Alec pulls away from the kiss he pulls Magnus into a hug and cries with Magnus. The tears for once aren’t the tears of fear but the tears of relief. They are home in each other’s arms and neither one would have it anyother way.

**Author's Note:**

> Please leave kudos and comments. Please don’t leave hate. Love you all <3
> 
> @ random person I accidentally deleted your comment I’m so sorry. :(


End file.
